Developing a Parenting Plan

If you have a child and are not currently with your kid’s mother or father, it is important to develop a parenting plan. Putting a parenting plan on paper early on in the child’s life can prevent serious conflicts from arising later, helping to ensure that things are as easy on the child as possible.

Even if you can’t stand your child’s other parent and find the person extremely difficult to work with, it is crucial that you develop a parenting plan that you both can sign off on. In fact, it’s even more important if the two of you have a high amount of conflict.

The parenting plan should have several different sections to it, including:

General Philosophy

Like the title of this section suggests, this is where you outline your general parenting philosophy. Good points to include are:

• Agree to be cooperative in the best interests of the child – Your primary objective is to make sure your child has the best upbringing possible. Since an environment filled with constant conflict is not a good one for a child to grow up in, you may want to agree to the appointment of a mediation or arbitration professional who can objectively help you through future problems.
• Agree to keep one another in the loop – Chances are, you do not want the other parent to make major decisions behind your back. Likewise, the other parent probably feels the same about you. Agree to make any major decisions together, including custody arrangements and parental responsibilities.
• Agree not to take each other to court unless absolutely necessary – The two of you are adults, you should be able to act as such. Agree early on not to constantly take one another to court over every disagreement.
• Agree to foster an environment of love and respect – Essentially, one of you should not speak poorly of the other in front of the children.

Parenting Schedule

In this section, outline who gets the child and when, including:

• Visitation days
• Christmas vacation
• Weekends
• Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
• Spring break
• Summer vacation
• Holidays and birthdays, such as Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving Weekend, New Year’s Eve and Day, Easter Sunday, Memorial Day weekend, Labor Day weekend and July 4th.

Parental Contributions

In this section you should agree to share your resources (time, money, effort, energy, etc.) in the best interests of the child. It is also important to outline who is responsible for medical and dental insurance, or if the cost is to be shared. Beyond that, any expenses not covered by insurance should be addressed.

Communication and Conflict Resolution

Again, the title of this section is fairly self-explanatory. It should include:

• Outlining a communication book – This book will travel with the children from one parent to the other whenever custody changes hands, and should include important details from the previous week, the child’s health and medication needs as well as upcoming appointments that the other parent should know about.
• Set up a way to deal with future conflicts – Agree to meet and confer with each other in order to present a proposed conflict resolution. If that fails to yield desired results, agree to meet with a moderator or confer with an expert in the field (e.g., if the dispute is over where to send the child to school, have a teacher from one or both schools give their opinion).

Miscellaneous

This section covers everything not addressed in the others, including:

• Child illness
• Out of town travel
• Transportation
• Telephone access
• Day to day decisions
• Geographical relocation
• Emergencies

Contact a child custody attorney in your area today!